1. i am happy as hell with where i am in life right now. im clean, properly medicated (and taking them every day!), self-harm free, eating properly, very much in love and actually, truly happy.

    i’m happy with myself, my body and my energy. i’m happy with where my life is going. such drastic changes have been made to how i live and i honestly did not ever think my life could be this enjoyable

    through service, hard work and determination, recovery really is possible. recovery doesn’t take days off and its not an easy thing. i’ve tried so many times to do what i’m doing right now and treat myself right but i failed so many times. i wasn’t actually READY to. this time is different though. this time its life or death, if i slip up again, i know it will end with me dead. and i’ve come to realize i don’t want that. i want to live. i want to have a happy, stable life and have a family with my partner who loves me. i want to do good, and for MYSELF. not for anyone else. my own self-betterment is what is motivating my recovery.

    i still struggle, of course. but over all, im honestly ecstatic about life and i look forward to every single day. i think a lot about where i’ve been and how low my lows have been and it scares the hell out of me. i’ve tried to kill myself so many times and i am so so so happy i failed each time. i’m thankful for each day i have to live my life and be around wonderful, positive people who enrich my life and who share their art with me and allow me to share pieces of myself as well.

    this might sound preachy as hell, but i honestly wish i knew that happiness eventually comes. as much as i crave them, i never want to do drugs or hurt myself again. its shocking how much of a difference only 2 months of treating my body right has done. i’ve gained almost 20 pounds, my thought processes have been more optimistic, my highs have been lower and my lows have been higher and like i often notice my cheeks hurting form smiling so much.

    thank you so much to everyone who has reached out and given me their support, kind words and taken time out of their days to talk to me. you are all lovely and i owe you all so much.

  4. tipsy and happy. i went to a kink party tonight up in barrie and met the loveliest people and got to tie 3 people up!


  5. snorlaxatives:

    american horror story season rankings

    1. asylum
    2. murder house
    3. the 10 second teasers for freakshow
    4. coven

    (via lohanthony)


  6. Anonymous said: So I saw "22 Aug 29,196All pedophiles are trash, no exceptions. There is no “Kink-shaming” about it. Protect survivors at all costs." and while I fully agree and child molesters and abusers are basically the worst people on the planet, I have to ask if you feel this way about the ones who simply have an attraction to children but don't touch or go near them at all. There's an upworthy article about how they cope with something they don't want in their heads and while not easy to read, is edu

    honestly, anyone who is attracted to children needs to get serious help because if they’re attracted to children, whats to say one day they aren’t going to slip up? even if they haven’t abused anyone, i don’t support them and i think they need to get serious therapy because they are a ticking fucking time bomb and are very dangerous.


  7. should i dye my hair purple tonight?

  8. (Source: gothvoid, via mlllstone)

  9. (Source: aliensufos, via feed-me-drugs)